Edgy (Weird) Beauty Trends

Remember the Christmas eyebrows I attempted during the holiday season? Yes, I know it was a complete fail, but it inspired me to look into more odd beauty trends. And I found a lot!

I've found my favorite three and will attempt to recreate them, in my own style. Which, of course, means I probably won't be anywhere near the original, because I have very little natural style talent.

1. Glitter Roots
Ummm, what's not to love? Hiding your roots with glitter and fairy dust, yes please! Not sure how that would work out in your sheets, though. I imagine it's impossible to get rid of. Hubby will not be pleased.

 

2. Unicorn Eyeliner

This one looks pretty difficult, and I have very low expectations for my reproduction capabilities, but it looks so cool! Not sure where one should go with eyes like that, but I'll probably end up at Publix where I'll run into Cayden's teacher who already knows about my Comic Con spandex Rogue costume.

3. Lollipop Lips

This one is right up my alley! I never put lipstick on without getting it everywhere. This trend Requires you to mess it up!

So my thought is by combining all three of these wonderful, edgy trends, I should easily be the coolest mom at the field trip on Wednesday. He thought I was embarrassing when I wore pajama pants to pick him up in first grade. Then, he gave me strict instructions to not call him anything but Micah at school- no Chompy, Boo Boo, Micah boo, Baby, or Little Man. What could go wrong here?

With Love,

Susanne

My Phone, My Lifeline

I have an iphone. For better or worse. Once upon a time, I tried switching over to an Android because Apple prices kill me. I lasted about 22 hours. Everything is set up differently and all the buttons are different. The guy at Best Buy told me they offer training classes to teach people how to operate their smart phones. Really? Because I have three hours to spare learning how to use a phone. No thanks. Apple, you win.

Which brings me to my apps. I'm not really up on trends and I generally start using the newest, niftiest apps several months after everyone else. But I thought I'd share the first page of my apps on my phone and you can judge just how uncool I am.

I'm going to be honest- Facebook and Instagram are the only two social media sites I keep up with. And Instagram is a recent addition. I tried SnapChat, Twitter, and YouTube. Not a fan. Am I missing out?

Google Maps. Unfailing direction giver. All-seeing traffic guide. Forever patient and complaint-less re-router. I remember when we had to rely on actual paper maps. I got lost a lot. Like a lot. I once crossed the Mississippi River three times before I found the right turn off.

Then there's Pandora- the app that saves my sanity when the boys are getting antsy in the car. Nothing like the Mickey Mouse Clubhouse station to bring out the smiles. Pitbull is also a good station during morning work outs, especially when Sir Mix A Lot pops up right in the middle of a set.

Actual view of my village. Impressed? I thought so

I play two games and only two games- Words With Friends and Clash of Clans. I'm really really good at WWF, so if you want a challenge, find me on there- SusanneRivera. This offer excludes my brother; he is my nemesis and if I didn't know better, would swear he cheats.

I started playing Clash the way I always start a new game...because Micah harasses me until I play with him. Then, without fail, he gets bored and stops playing said game within a week, leaving me addicted. I've actually been playing Clash for three years now and it's just like pretty much every sport I've ever played- I have much more enthusiasm than actual talent or skill.

Moving on, the Bible app saves me from trying to walk into church juggling my purse, a diaper bag, an Ezra, and my Bible. I love the daily verse notifications. They're remarkably spot on and give me encouragement each morning.

One of my absolute favorite and most-used apps is Audible. I've mentioned it in my blog before, but I listen to books while I'm out running, on my long commute to/from work, and whenever I need to just block out the world and escape into a good novel.

And finally, at the bottom is the fight-averting app- Fire TV. This is because we have kids and they like to run around with the remote. It gets lost about once a day and sometimes we just don't have the energy to search the toy bin, the couch cushions, the refrigerator, and once the dog's kennel, just to change the channel.

I was going to do the second page of apps also, but I think this is probably all the time the boys are going to give me. I'm sensing an imminent meltdown. What apps do you have on your phone? Page two of my phone includes Amazon, Birchbox, Bitmoji, Panera Bread, and Xfinity Home. Yes, I put my home security beneath Photos and ESPN. Keeping up with the Gator games is life in my home. I blogged about it- read the important lesson I learned from my father about how serious we take our football in the South.

Have a wonderful evening- it's Friday eve!!

With Love,
Susanne

There are two types of people in this world. People who hate clowns...and clowns.

Tell me this wouldn't give you nightmares!

Joker. It. Bozo. Krusty. Ronald McDonald. John Wayne Gacy. They’re all clowns. Terrifying, smiling clowns. I hate them, and my family knows it. In fact, my brother likes to text me pictures of the scariest ones he can find. Then there was my former father-in-law. He had this porcelain clown doll that he would randomly hide in closets, the shower, my car…and thought it was the funniest thing ever when he heard me scream when it popped out at me grinning like a demon!

But in case you’re not bothered by dangerous dolls and have a spare $900,000, you can be the proud owner of The Clown Motel. It’s in Tonopah, a couple hours outside of Las Vegas, and even includes a clown museum. It’s a destination spot for paranormal seekers and was founded in 1985 by a couple who purposely built it next to the cemetery where their family members were buried. As if that’s not creepy enough, Tonopah was the scene of a mysterious plague, that only affected grown men, and contributed greatly to filling up the cemetery. 

One of the stipulations on buying the motel is that the clowns stay- all 600 of them. Part of the charm, apparently. I read reviews on Yelp, and most of them are surprisingly positive about the experience. One review summed it up nicely, “Cleaner than expected. Amazing water pressure. Did not get murdered by Zeebo in the night.” Or how about this one- “Prices were great. I slept like the dead. Neighbors were quiet.” (Get it? Neighbors = cemetery. Ha) And one more- “Kind of like going to your grandma's house, if your grandma lived in a doublewide trailer behind the Barnum & Bailey Clown College. Far out!!!”

I end with this picture of my siblings and I from 1989. This was either my mom’s idea of punishment for me, or I hadn’t developed the terror of clowns yet. I don’t remember this Halloween at all, which probably means I blocked and suppressed the traumatizing memory.

So to put your stressful work week in perspective, unless it involves killer supernatural clowns, you’re probably going to survive till the weekend. Now please excuse me as I go watch a couple hours worth of happy shows so I don't end up dreaming about horrible painted monsters.

With Love,

Susanne

Ave Maria at 6am

I've started and stopped about three different posts, and I just can't focus on anything today. Maybe the cold weather is slowing my brain down. Then there's the long drive to work each day. Listening to my book on Audible is the only thing that keeps me sane on that drive sometimes. When I moved to Naples from Orlando, I thought it would be a much slower pace, and it is- during the summer. Southwest Florida during season is crazy! There's people here from all over the north, and half of them can't drive to save their lives. You know who you are, New York and New Jersey people!

Collier County has an app that keeps you up to date on traffic accidents. During my forty-five minute commute, there were five accidents! Five! What in the world are people doing at 8am in 38 degree weather? They're mostly snow birds, which means they're retired and going somewhere other than a job. If it was me, I'd be snuggled up under my favorite blanket at home, enjoying my view of palm trees instead of snow, and sipping hot tea.

The craziness lasts from about Thanksgiving till Easter down here. Then they all go back north and Naples returns to a semi-sleepy little town. But there is always at least once that I nearly get in an accident because of someone driving the wrong way down the road. This year it was a huge Cadillac SUV barreling down the street coming right at me from the wrong direction. Then, he had the audacity to honk and flip Me off when he flew by. I may or may not have been sweetly yelling that he was a lunatic and should have his vision checked. I'm helpful like that.

It's really entertaining to watch snow birds, most of the time, though. They will literally stop their cars in the road to gawk at a palm tree. Or run screaming if they see an alligator in the water. I was out running in my neighborhood by a pond as a little alligator was minding its own business on the opposite bank. A car pulls up in front of me, four people tumble out and they start madly taking pictures. Then the gator lazily splashed into the water and started swimming. The group shrieks and runs for their car, looking over their shoulders as if the gator is going to eat them whole.

Enough rambling. I'll be back next time with a more put together post. I hope you all have a wonderful weekend and stay safe on the roads!

With Love,
Susanne

Things I've Noticed at the Gym

I love going to the gym. It’s easier for me to exercise when I have to make the conscious effort to get dressed, make sure someone’s watching the kids, and drive there. I feel like I owe it to myself to have a good workout. Now I am by no means an expert, but I’ve been to a few gyms- from the big social club gyms, down to my current little neighborhood gym. And I’ve made a few observations...

1.      People have no shame

I call her “loud obnoxious lady.” Once she came in wearing a hot pink bathrobe covered in hearts. She doesn’t own a coat because it’s ‘not supposed to get cold in Florida.’ She generally shows up with her equally loud friend, and together they plow away on the treadmill, loudly bemoaning the many faults of their husbands and kids. Don’t get me wrong- I understand we all need to vent, but if I was her husband, I would go out for drinks with Chris twice a week, too!

2.      The bigger the grunts, the more weight you can lift

You know the type- super big and buff up top, with little skinny legs. These are the guys who apparently forgot leg day exists. They get huge weights, sound like they’re the Hulk while pounding their sets, and then drop them to the floor with a huge crash. Then there’s the production of stretching their sore muscles and drinking from their gallon jug of water. I’ve always wanted to saunter over and imitate them, just to see the reaction. Of course, my idea of ‘huge weights’ would be twenty pound dumbbells…not exactly intimidating.

3.     Time slows down at the gym               
      Don’t believe me? Do a two minute wall-sit, or a sixty-second plank, or run full out on the treadmill for five minutes. You’ll feel like the clock is ticking backwards! One minute of gym time is like five minutes in the outside world.

4.       Friends are better than no friends
      I have to go work out at 5am because that’s literally the only time of the day when I can go. Chase and I work opposite schedules so we rarely have a free evening. I was very inconsistent until I met my gym buddy. She’s a lifesaver! Sometimes the only reason I drag my butt out of bed is because I know she’ll give me crap if I don’t show up. In spite of despising leg day, Gym Buddy has guilted me into it at least once a week. It happened to be this morning and the soreness made me consider just rolling my chair around the office so there was no need to stand up.

5.       People watching is a great distraction

At my old gym, I used to do the elliptical for 45 minutes at a time. That gets pretty boring, especially when the only thing on the televisions was the Golf Channel, ESPN, and infomercials. I started people watching and it was hilarious! There was the woman who wore a full-on ballerina costume every day. Or the pretty girls with perfect hair and makeup who went from machine to machine, not even pretending to use them; they simply bounced around depending on where a buff guy was working out. I especially enjoyed the older man who clearly thought he owned the place. He would make his rounds- flirting with every woman, giving out hugs and advice.

And I have to end this post with a shout out to a couple of my favorite shirts that are perfect for gym-time

Strength, Courage, No Carbs Tank

#MOMBOSS Tank

With Love,

Susanne

A Lofty Project

So Handsome Hubby got me a new laptop for Christmas. It’s been great- and eliminated my excuse for not writing because I couldn’t figure out his ancient Mac. But with the computer came the idea that I needed my own writing space, which of course, will make me a better writer! I’ve decided to seize/hijack/annex/appropriate/conquer the loft from the boys. (I had a lot of fun with the thesaurus.)

Anyway, I’ve fallen down the Pinterest rabbit hole and have a million ideas on what to do with my new space. It’s currently a toy collector and decorated with comic book memorabilia, and I’m not sure if I’ll be able to completely remove either, but I’d like to make it more Susanne-like. Then there's the struggle with my inner geek and kinda wanting to find a place for this this Star Wars lamp.

I’ve also been looking at paint swatches for a focal wall. This, however, will become a job for Chase. Does that sound unfair? Well, let me just tell you a story. Back when we had the old house and were trying to get it on the market, we had the bright idea to paint every room in the house. I was pregnant at the time, and Chase told me I didn’t need to help because he didn’t want me getting tired. I said I was fine! He then told me the paint fumes were bad for me, so I didn’t need to help. I kept insisting it was too big a job for one person. Next, he said he was having a friend come over to help him, so there was no need for me to paint. By this point, I was getting frustrated and told him it just sounded like he didn’t want me to paint! The guilty look on his face was priceless. Allegedly*, I am a ‘messy’ painter. I get drips everywhere and I can’t keep paint off the baseboards. He felt it would be more work to have me ‘help’ than to just do the entire house himself. Allegedly*. This initially hurt my feelings, but it’s been a great card to play in the years since. Want to paint the living room? Get busy then, cause I’m too messy to be any help. (evil laugh)

Okay, back to my new writing space. I’m undecided on what kind of desk I want. I’m thinking maybe something colorful, or if I get my focal wall, a little more neutral.

Simple is better and not having clutter really helps the stress level and feel more focused. Part of that is having the perfect chair- comfy and soft. I adore this one from Pottery Barn; just not a fan of the price tag, so I’m still exploring my options. (Does anyone else immediately think of Friends when Pottery Barn is mentioned?? Apothecary table? No, okay just me then) I’m a little scattered today.

I’m not a huge fan of this desk, however the space surrounding it makes me happy.

Here’s the current situation of the loft- I’ll be posting after pics, once I get this up and running, which will probably be a little while because I want it to be perfect! FYI, my wonderful husband took these pics for me, but didn't feel it necessary to at least remove the laundry from the pictures. Sigh. Boys.

*Bob’s Burgers reference- season 8, episode 3. I’m not an obsessive fan. 

With Love,

Susanne

A Day in the Life of Cayden, 3 year old and self-proclaimed dinosaur-knower, big awesome kid, and smarter than big bro

 

“I want chocolate chip eggos, please.” The morning had started off well. He convinced mommy to let him wear his favorite t-rex shirt under his school uniform and big bro generously shared his virtual reality goggles so they could watch the cool shark video again. But the plate mommy put in front of him was Not chocolate chip eggos- it was chocolate chip pancakes! “This is yucky. Here, Ez. You can have the yucky pancakes.” He then tossed the offending items directly onto his brother’s lap, who promptly screamed and threw them on the floor where they were devoured by Dara the puppy.

A few minutes later they were headed out the door to school, Batman lunch box clanging along the sidewalk because it made a loud noise he liked. The day was full of painting (some paper, but mostly hands and shirts), feeding the school hamster which seemed to be a different color and size every week, and playing outside. Cayden liked to pretend they were in a plane and he would fly them to different stores. His favorite places included: Fuzzy’s Taco Shop, Target, the kid’s museum, and Bass Pro. 

Not his most flattering pic

 

Daddy usually picked him up on the golf cart and today was no exception. Waving goodbye to his friends, he jumped on the cart and informed daddy and Ezra that the triceratops is a plant-eater and the t-rex is a meat-eater. Cayden had to keep reminding Ezra because he was just a baby and could only make roaring noises; he wasn’t big like Cayden and knew big words.

After a lunch of pizza bites, which he calls ‘tarts’ because that’s what Dino Dan calls them, and a lively game of Get the Lego From Dara Before She Swallows It, it’s naptime. 

Well, Daddy thinks it’s naptime. Cayden just sneakily pulled his dino field guide out from under his bed, and proceeded to spend the hour looking at pictures and talking to Ezra, thus keeping his brother awake, too. He thinks Daddy may be on to him. Mostly because daddy walked in on him halfway out of bed trying to reach another book. But he wasn’t all the way out of bed- his legs were still on, so technically he was obeying the stay-in-bed rule. 

About that time mommy got home from work and Cayden ran to give her a hug, not-so-subtly pushing Ezra out of the way so he can be first. Mommy wanted to go for a walk and told him to sit in the wagon! 

“Mommy, mommy, mommy, mommy.” Cayden talked over her announcement, patiently repeating himself until she stopped talking. “I have legs and they like to walk on the street, not be squished in the wagon. Put Dara in the wagon, she can eat the cheez-its on the bottom.” How do you argue with that logic? 

Dinner was fun, as usual. Cayden loved to choose one item on his plate that he suddenly didn’t like anymore and refused to eat. He rarely won the battle of wills, but he never lost hope. It did seem to wear out mommy though, because bed time followed quickly. A negotiation on how many stories to read, teeth brushing (including a semi-unsuccessful attempt to use big bro’s toothbrush), and countless hugs later, the boys finally settled down…for a minute.

Cayden couldn’t sleep- a blanket was missing!! He only had Paw Patrol blankie, Paw Patrol sleeping bag, Star Wars blankie, seven random toys, and Old oo-ee-oo-aw-aw blankie** Where was New oo-ee??

He started shrieking ‘help! help!’ at the top of his lungs. Why didn’t mommy come right away? If he couldn’t sleep, no one else should either. Once the missing blanket was located and mommy grumpily left, he settled into his snug little cocoon and fell asleep.

**Oo-ee-oo-aw-aw is Caden’s treasured monkey blanket. Sound it out- it’s the sound a monkey makes. Mommy note- I spent a long time hunting for a second identical monkey blanket once we saw how attached he was; there were many tears each time oo-ee had to be washed and Cayden was separated from him- yes, the blanket is a ‘he’.

With Love,

Susanne